A Christmas Walk
by The Next Author
Summary: Its the turtles first Christmas. And as the night falls, they realize their big brother seems to have disappeared. Warning: A sad Christmas story and a two shot.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Merry Christmas everybody! This is a little sad for a Christmas story but as I said, I have a tendency to be a sad person. Enjoy.

A Christmas Walk

 _I'm only trying to find my way home._

 __ The Trans-Siberian Orchestra_

P.O.V. Raph

"Boys, where is Leonardo?" Sensei calls out.

I look up from trimming our Christmas tree. Donnie and April look up from looking at ornaments feet away. Mikey pokes his head out from in the kitchen.

"He went to get some air," our baby brother says.

"How long ago?" Sensei asks. We all shrug.

"Maybe…thirty minutes ago." I say.

"He might have gone out to get us a surprise," April smiles. Don nods in agreement. Master Splinter raises a brow. I know that look. I had the same exact question when Leo left.

What could Leo possibly have to do on Christmas Eve?

P.O.V. Leo

The snow is lightly falling around me. My pants make a swish sound as I walk. Horns honk, lights fill the night, making it all seem like an orangeish color. Carolers pass me. They wave. I wave back. Then they're gone.

The cold doesn't bother me. I think the snow feels good on my emerald skin. I wear black boots, jeans, a blue sweater and brown jacket. On my head is a dark blue beanie with a white Y. It stands for BYU, I think.

As I walk, I turn a corner to go on another snowy street. With a _whompF!_ I run into a chubby body. I back up to see the restaurant owner and fellow Turtle friend, Murakami.

"Murakami-san," I exclaim, "I am so sorry."

Murakami stumbles a little. He's holding three grocery bags. One almost falls out of his grip but I catch it in time.

"Leonardo-san," Murakami says happily," You are out! I'd think you'd be with your family."

I rub the back of my neck," Well, I wanted to come up for some air. Now I have found you."

Murakami laughs. "Well I do like company. Come along, Leonardo-san. I have a Christmas meal to make."

P.O.V. Raph

Now he's been gone for an hour. I have finished trimming the tree. April and Donnie are half way done with putting up the ornaments. Splinter is in the kitchen helping Mikey finish dinner. I'm sitting with Spike, glancing at the clock.

"You look a little nervous, Raph," Donnie mocks, "What's up? Worried about Leo?"

"No." I snap, "I'm just looking to see how long Mikey is taking to make dinner."

"Sure, Raph, Keep lying."

"Say that one more time, Donnie. I dare you."

"It's not a bad thing to be scared for your brother, Raph," April says, "nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not scared," I growl, "Leo can take care of himself."

I look at the clock again as the smell of turkey wafers up to my nose. Leo's going to miss dinner soon. He should at least call and say he's going to be late. Not leave us all hanging.

Where is he? What could he possibly be doing? And one more thing… why isn't he with his family on Christmas Eve?

P.O.V. Leo

Down an alley way I spy four homeless people, burning newspaper for warmth. There is an old man, two adults and a small child. They look hungry. I look at Murakami. Should I say something? He seems to sense what I want.

He smiles as he says, "Oh, go ahead. I'll meet you at the restaurant."

I smile back, "Thanks, Murakami."

I hope he doesn't mind that I take the grocery bag with me.

The people tense when I come over. They eye me cautiously and warily. I stop at the entrance of the alley.

"Um… hi," I say. They stare at me some more. The boy looks me over. I wonder if they speak Japanese. I'll try that. "Konichiwa."

The oldman smiles," Konichiwa." He replies. The boy runs up to me. He has a blue beanie, too. He has a thin brown jacket and ripped jeans. His red tennis shoes look like they came out of the garbage. He points to the bag.

"Is that for us?" he asks.

"Sean," the women scolds.

"No, no." I say, "It's okay. It… it is for you." I kneel down in front of the boy. I estimate he's about five. Poor boy. I hope he doesn't notice I have three fingers.

His eyes light up as I take out American cheese, cans of soup, apples, packages of turkey slices and a bar of chocolate. All of it reminds me of my brothers. I'm probably missing dinner right now. Oh, well.

"Shouldn't you be with your family right now, son? Not with a bunch of homeless people."

"Probably," I reply, "but they can do a holiday without me."

Raph

Two hours! What is the turtle doing?

We have just finished dinner and he is still gone. Don and I are doing the dishes while Mikey, Sensei and April play a few rounds of Uno.

"Still worried?" Don asks. I glare at him. Don's mouth twitches. "You are. Don't worry about it. I'm starting to worry, too."

"Who says I'm worrying'?" I growl angrily.

Don stares at me for a moment the turns away. "I know what you look like when you're worried. Plus, you've been washing the same dish for the past ten minutes."

I drop the dish in the sink with a clang. I grip the sink and take a deep breath so I don't slug Donnie.

"Okay, so I'm worried. Is that a crime? Can I worry or is Leo the only one who can worry around here?"

Donnie holds up his hands in surrender. "It's okay to be worried, Raph, it's just the idea of you being worried is weird."

I just glare at him. Donnie doesn't get it. Don has two big brothers. I have one. I have the right to be worried, don't I?

Leo 

"…Then my other brother is a hot head. To be honest, I don't think he really cares what happens to me. I could just disappear and … he wouldn't care." I say. Sean is sitting on my lap curled around me. His head rests in the cruck of my neck. He says I'm warm.

Melissa and Aden stare at me. The old man, Hamako, follows my every word. I have finished talking about my brothers. Aden leans forward. "Your parents must be proud of you and your brothers. And brave to take care of quadruplets."

I rub the back of my neck, "Well… we're actually adopted. And we only have a father. He…had a wife but she died in a house fire and his daughter was taken."

Hamako narrows his eyes, "What is your father's name?"

I hesitate. I trust Hamako but…

"His name is Hamato. Hamato Yoshi."

Hamako's jaw drops. "Your father is Hamato Yoshi! He's here in New York! And you are his son!"

I jump at his enthusiasm, scaring Sean back to consciousness. "You know him?" I ask.

"Well… in a way. You see, I lived in Japan, too. Your father and Oruku Saki were very popular. I always wanted to meet your father. He was my hero." Hamako smiles. "Your father was a hero to many. Then he just… disappeared. Many thought him dead. It is joyous you know that he is alive."

"Oh…" I say, though I know this man many never get to meet my father because of our mutation.

A cold wind flips the hood up on my coat. Sean stirs as I get an idea. "Come with me," I say, "You can stay at Muakami's. He loves company.

Aden and Melissa exchange glances. "You sure we'll be welcome."

I nod vigorously, "Oh, yes. Come. I'll carry Sean. Follow me."

Raph

Now we're watching "The Christmas Carol." I keep hearing Leo's voice in my head saying I'm Ebenezer Scrooge.

Mikey I sprawled across the couch, his feet on my legs. Don and April sit on the opposite side, almost snuggling. Ugh, get a room.

Sensei does not join us. I wonder if he's as worried about Leo as I am.

A scream from Jacob T. Marley brings me back to reality…

Leo

Murakami is overjoyed by the company. He keeps loading them up with food and saying they can stay till they get back on their feet. But I have a feeling Hamako isn't going anywhere for a long, long time.

"Do you know Kung Fu?" Sean asks me as he eats.

I laugh, "In a form," I reply.

Sean shows off his toothy grin, "I want to see it."

I smile and look out the side window.

SHELL!

"Murakami," I slowly say. He looks over at me concerned. "We've got company. And not the kind who want food."

He nods and motions for our friends to get behind the counter. They finish the task as glass shatters.

I swallow hard as three big Purple Dragon thugs jump in. They lay eyes on me and smile.

 _Be careful what you wish for kid_ , I think as these thugs come at me with knives and clubs.

I take the smallest down with a round house kick and a dragon punch. The next slams his club into my shoulder with a crack. I twist around, grab the thugs hand and send him flying into the wall. I make sure he stays down with a sharp punch to the head.

The next has a big knife, but I twist his wrist so he has to let go. Then I slam the handle into his head till he slumps to the ground unconscious.

All the while, Sean is cheering for me. I wish I had a little brother like him.

I am knocked over from behind as a great force knocks me off my feet. I look up to see Dogpound smirking down at me.

"Well, look what I found on a crisp Christmas Eve," he growls ," a turtle ready for a fight."

Two strong figures pick me up by my arms and lift me to my feet. It's two more Purple Dragons. I glance toward the counter. They are not visible but I can hear Melissa hyperventilating.

"Shredder may not be in town for the holidays," Dogpound hisses," But it doesn't mean I can't have a little fun." He draws his giant fist back, "Here's a message for your father."

The Purple Dragons almost lose hold of me as Dogpound gives me a wicked right hook. It feels like my head was almost torn from my body. Pain swells on that side of my face. He hits me again from the other side, and this time blood goes flying.

"LEONARDO!" Sean cries before being shushed. My eyes are swelling. Cut are deepening with every punch. I hope Murakami doesn't help me. He needs to keep the others safe. I think… I think I 'm not going to come home in time for Christmas.

I hurt more than ever. I'm pinned and can't move. Black inkiness is swallowing me up. My head feels so heavy.

Thoughts run through my head.

April…home…Sean…Hamako…Murakami…parents…home…friends…Captain Ryan…Sensei…Father…Mikey…Don…Raph…brothers…I'm sorry… I love you…

The last thing I feel is a sharp pain in my gut and a rattle in my chest. Then I'm gone…

Raph

We are in the middle of watching that freaky shadow that they call The Ghost of Christmas Future when the cheese phone rings.

Nobody moves to answer it.

By the third ring, I yell,"Sensei, cheese phone ringin'!"

He lumbers out of the dojo and answers after the forth ring. He gives me this look as he says, "Moshi, Moshi." _Who is it?_

"Leo?" I mouth shrugging.

Sensei shakes his head. "Yes, this is he." He continues.

That's when I watch my father crumble before my eyes. First, his eyes widen. The he drops the phone, heavily breathing. He grips the counter … then runs.

"Raphael, you're in charge!" Then he's gone.

I have a feeling in my heart that it was Leo. It takes me one second to decide what to do.

"Donnie, you're in charge. Keep everyone down here till we get back," I say, flipping Mikey off the couch. Then I'm gone, too.

I follow Sensei clear up to Murakami's place. I can't tell if I'm shocked to see the glass broken or not.

Sensei runs in without hesitation. I am shocked now. Normally, Sensei is cautious.

That thought is severed by a wail coming from inside. I run. If Sensei is screaming, then something is really bad.

I jump through the window. The first thing I see is Murakami and a short cubby dude rubbing my father's back. Sensei is kneeling in front of something, shaking. Two adults stand aside, the man holding the women. I can hear a boy sobbing. My gut churns. I feel sick.

"MOVE!" I growl and march forward.

"Oh, another one," the women hiccups. The fat man turns, looks at me, and then bows his head. I see the blood at his feet and my breath catches. No. NO.

But it is. And the moment I see him, I scream so hard that my voice breaks. And the whole time I'm screaming, everyone stares at me.

And the best part is Leo wakes up!

He looks around, his eyes dim and gray. "Sens-sei," He chokes out. I think I almost choke myself at the sound of his voice.

"F-father," he coughs, blood rolling slowly down his chin, "I… I don't think… I won't be home for…for Christmas."

"Shh…" Sensei says rubbing Leo's head. I see tears roll down Leo's face. That motivates me to kneel on the other side of Leo. His eyes linger to me.

"Are you the hot-headed one?" The little boy asks.

I look at him. "What?" My voice is shaky.

"Are you the hot-headed brother? Cause if you are, Leo told us you wouldn't care if he met God tonight."

"Sean," The women hisses, who must be his mother.

My jaw drops and I look at Sensei. His eyes are wide. "Boy, did my son really say this?"

"Yes," the old man says, squeezing Master Splinters shoulder," he did."

Leo thinks I don't care. He thinks he can disappear and I wouldn't care. This hurts much worse than looking at Leo's wounds.

My big brother tenses as a shock of pain rolls over his body. His jacket and sweater is split open by a massive wound. I look at his face. His dark eyes are closed.

"Hey," I say snapping my fingers," Stay awake, Leo. Eyes on me."

Leo reopens his eyes and swallows hard," … can't. I'm… I'm blacking out."

"Not an option," I say, quoting Nick Fury of the Avengers.

"Raphael, give me your phone," Sensei says. Without looking away from Leo, I hand him my phone. He's gonna call Donnie _finally_.

As he talks, I bring Leo into my arms. Tears start making their way out of my eyes. Leo swallows hard. His voice is so quiet I almost miss him say," I'm… sorry. I s-should've stayed…h-home." I ain't gonna argue with that.

I shudder, "Who did this to you? Cause I swear I'll kill 'em. I'll make them wish they never messed with you."

Leo shakes his head as he struggles to breathe. I hold my brother tighter. "Don't leave me," I whisper. Never mind who hurt him. I'll find them later. Right now Leo needs me.

"You… hate me-me."

I shake my head. "No. It's just how I act, Leo. Forgive me."

"Of…course…ototo."

I would, _need_ , to say I love him but I can't get it out. So I do it a different way. I recall the lullaby Leo sang to us as children. His lullaby. He made that song. I'll sing it in Japanese. Leo loves Japanese.

"U~endi wa, furui hoshi ni modotte itta koto ga arimasen…"

Everyone is quiet as I sing. Leo gently smiles and lays his head on my chest. As I end the song, I find I can tie my words in with the song so I force myself to say," Watashi wa anata no ani o aishi."

 _I love you big brother._

Leo smiles in his oblivion, "Watashi wa anata no ototo o ashi."

He loves me, too.

We smile at each other. He knows I care. He knows I want to bring him home alive.

As Leo curls himself around me, I think that this is the worst first Christmas ever.

And Leo may not be able to celebrate it with me.

A/N: Hey, guys, I hoped you have enjoyed Christmas Walk. I have no idea if I want to do this as a one-shot or a two-shot. I would love to hear your guys opinion on it. Anyway, Merīkurisumasu o motte imasu! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

 **A/N: Alright. You guys asked for it. Here's the second part to A Christmas Walk. And once again** **Merīkurisumasu o motte imasu! :)**

 _Here is love that God sent his son, his son who never offended, and his son who was always his delight._

John Bunyan

Leo's P.O.V.

 _Watashi wa anata no ototo, o aishi._

A smile and that's all I can remember. I drifted into a dark world. Raph's voice echoes in and out of my conscious. I try to hang onto his voice. It's the only thing I can hold on to.

" _Leo, Leo wake up. I told you not to close your eyes. Leo!"_

He sounds like he's in agony. I try to reach the voice but the darkness was like water. It's washing over me and drowning me.

" _Donnie_ ," I hear Raph and Sensei yell. I think I hear Melissa gasp again, too.

I feel something jab me then slap me.

" _Raph_ ," Donnie howls as I scream out," _He's hurt_!"

" _I don't care! He said he'd stay awake! He-"_

" _Raph, he's lost a lot of blood. He doesn't need you slapping him_."

" _Donatello, what else is wrong with Leonardo_ ," I hear Hamako say.

I cry out as Donnie pokes my side, moves my limbs. Donnie sounds choky as he says, " _Too much. I need to…"_

He's gone. Raph comes back seconds later, _" I'll carry him Do_ -"

Then he's gone, too. The water is sucking me down. Everything hurts. Oh, this is bad. It's Christmas. None of this should be happening. I shouldn't have left. I should have been eating turkey, watching TV and decorating the tree. I should have been arguing with Raph because people who love each other argue whether it's Christmas or not.

But I wasn't. Now, I feel like I'm slipping. I'm dying. I'll never have celebrated Christmas. Ever.

I can see.

Mikey is above me screaming. Donnie is running around in the corner of my eye. Raph is… he's crying. He's leaning over me, his bandana inches from my face. I hear my heart beat. I feel the pain of my wounds. And as my brothers see my wide eyes, everything goes black once more.

My heart feels like its going fast but it sounds sluggish.

Thump- thump.

I can't hear.

Thump-thump.

I can't breathe.

Thump…

Am I really…

 _Dead_.

 **A/N: And that is how the Christmas Walk ends… Kidding! Imagine if I was serious. Hey, I said I was depressing. Now here's the actual ending to A Christmas Walk.**

Raph's P.O.V. **  
**

The screams won't leave me alone. I feel like I'm stuck in a hole that only leads down to hell and the only thing that can save me is the sound of Leo's voice.

Leo's heart stopped for three whole minutes. Leo had left us. He died. Donnie calls it odd because his heart stopped right as Christmas Eve turned into Christmas Day. Don said three minutes. For me, it felt like an eternity. It felt like Leo had grabbed my heart and taken it to the other side with him.

Mikey's snore echoes through our lair reminding me of out family's screams as Leo died. Donnie is with Sensei, speaking to Murakami, Sean, Melissa and Aden, talking about the attack. Mikey is sleeping. He always sleeps after too much action. I think he's just lazy.

I can't sleep. I won't. If Leo wakes up, he'll need me. I can't imagine the pain he'll be in when he wakes up. Don says a few ribs are broke, but the knife didn't hit any organs when he was stabbed. His arm is broken. Murakami said that after what sounded like skin hitting skin, Leo was thrown and either the attacker broke his arm or whatever he hit broke it. His face has turned black. Leo's lip is split. Don says he might have brain damage, but he can't be sure. Oh, shell, I hope not.

I clear my throat. I want to wake him. I want to talk to him. Please, just let him hear me.

"Leo? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?"

My heart leaps as his eyes start moving, as if he is dreaming. I have to keep talking. "You're gonna be okay, Leo. You're gonna be fine."

His hand twitches in mine. I squeeze it. It feels like he makes an attempt to squeeze mine, too. I lean forward. I graze his cheek with my fingers. It is so smooth yet cold.

Can you feel me? Can you feel my hand holding yours? Can you feel my hand on your face? Can you feel my crying?

"Leo…open your eyes. Please…"

Leo's P.O.V.

" _Please_."

I feel his tears dripping down onto me, rolling down into my mouth. Raphs voice isn't echoy anymore. It's clear and wonderful. With every word I grow stronger.

Just keep talking, Raph. I'm waking up. Just two more words. Even one would do. Just one…

"Leo… you know that I really truly love you, right?"

It feels like I break ice. The air is easier to breathe. The light isn't dark anymore. Raph is above me, a halo of light around his head. "Leo," he gasps, eyes misty and a smile stretching across his face.

I smile back. "R…R…R…Ra…Ra…Raaa…" I stop. I can't get the word out. Raph. Raph. That's all I want to say. Why can't I say it?! I've got it all together. I can think it. But when I try to talk… I can't.

Raph's face is all messed up. He looks like he's gonna start crying. Not that he didn't look like that before. With those puffy red eyes, he looks ready to sob at any moment.

"No…no, Donnie can't be right. He can't!" Raph cries.

I try to speak again, " Wh-wh-wha-"

"He said you could have brain damage. I was hoping he was wrong." Raph say.

Brain Damage. That's why I can't talk. I'll try anyway.

"Y-y…yo…you…"

"Okay." Raph finishes. It's as if he knows what I'm trying to say. "Yeah. I'm happy you're okay."

He's lying. I can see it and he knows I know he's lying. "Lll…lii…lia…liar."

"I should have been with you," Raph says, "Or I should have stopped you. Something."

"Nnnnnooooot yyyyyoour fffaullt."

"Yes! Yes, it is! I have to protect you! I didn't do my job! I-"

"Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-ph." I try to say. He shuts up.

It's quiet as we just look at each other. After a while, Raph asks," Leo… why did you leave? Why did you go on that walk?"

He doesn't care that I sound stupid. He's not impatient that I can't talk. It's…different.

I shift a little and it hurts. Everything hurts so I just relax. Raph stiffens at my pain. I slowly say," I wan-wan-want-ed t-to" I stop. I think. "Aiii…ai…air. Wa-want aaiirr."

Raph blinks. He doesn't believe me either. I take a breath, shuddering at the pain ," I-I-I-In-In ev-ev-er-er-y ones-s wa-way."

Raph knows what I'm saying. I know because I've caught him thinking this way every once in a while. His eyes cloud over. "You aren't a waste of space, Leo. I know we kinda left you out but…you seemed so happy watching us. And you do everything for us. We wanted to let you relax. To be happy. I guess we kinda drove you away though. And we're sorry. We love you, you know that, right?"

I think about what he said. He is telling the truth. I finally say," I-I-I-I kn-kn-kn-ow. Kn-ow."

Raph smiles," You know what Don says. When you feel better and he says you're ready, we're gonna have another Christmas. We didn't want you to miss it, so we'll give you a second Christmas Day. You won't have missed a thing."

 _Another Christmas. Just for me._

"Bu-bu-bu-but."

"No buts, Leo. We are doing this whether you like it or not."

I sigh on the inside. They are truly my brothers, my family. I wouldn't want a different one for the world.

"I-I-I lllllovve y-y-you, R-Ra-RRRaapph."

Raph's smile is the last thing I see. As I fall back in to a deep sleep, brought on by the drugs, I hear Raph say, " Love you, too, ani."

Raph P.O.V.

 _A few days later…_

I stare at Leo as he holds out his hand. Snow gently falls into his open hand. He smiles when he sees me looking at him. " Y-Y-Yu-Yukkkis-s p-p-pret-tt-y."

"To you maybe," I laugh.

December 28th I sour second Christmas. He gave Leo his presents but all Leo cared about was reading this one book and going out in the snow. So I read _A Special Place for Santa_ to our family while Leo grinned.

Don says Leo's gonna have to learn to speak all over again. It makes me angry when he stutters but he calms me down with one of those life-is-good smiles of his.

After we finished reading the book, Mikey went and god our clothes. We met Sean, Melissa, and Aden at the park. Sean was already sledding with the green UFO sled Murakami got him. Nobody cares that the sun is out.

Now we're watching Mikey and Sean race down the hill while the four grownups talk in a circle under the tree. Donnie and April are down below, throwing snowballs at each other. Then there's me and Leo, sitting on top of the hill, watching the action.

I jump as Leo says my name perfectly," Raph, th-th-thank y-y-you."

"For what?" I ask," I didn't do anything."

"Y-Y-You g-g-g-gav-ve m-me C-Christ-st-mas-s. Th-th-thank y-you."

I smile and gently punch my brother's shoulder. "No problem, bro. It's nice seeing you happy. No matter what stupid thing make you happy, I'm glad it does."

Captain Ryan, snow and our family pops into my head as I say that. I know those three things make Leo happy. And I think Christmas is added to his list now.

"Guys, look at that sunset," I hear April yell as she and Donnie run up the hill. Her hair is full of snow and Donnie looks like he got snow stuffed down his jacket.

We all look to the New York skyline. The sky is turning pink and the snow clouds are slowly fading. I help Leo to his feet and stare at the scene. Wind blows gently as Leo leans his head back, eyes closed.

"Merry second Christmas, guys," Mikey whispers.

"M-merrry C-Chri-Chri-stmaas, M-Mik-key." Leo replies.

I think about that for a moment. Beyond all those songs and stories of the holiday, Christmas is a holiday for people to find what's familiar. Year after year, it's the same songs, same traditions, and the sharing of things that make us feel like we belong. And in the end all any of us are looking for is our home.

And as we start to head home, I look at Leo and realize…life. Is. Great.

Yeah, I'll probably never get over what happened to Leo or regretting not being with him. But things will be different. I'll be different. I'll be nice to my family. I never realized how important they are to me. But I know I'll never be alone or without a home. As long as Leo is around, I'll always have a home. Even if I decide to go on a Christmas walk.

The best Christmas gift of all is the presense

Of a happy family all wrapped up with one another.

Christmas is…

 **A/N: Well, this was my Christmas story for the year. I hope you all enjoyed it and that all you fellow authors have an awesome Christmas. ;)**


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